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I guess I was going to be the new boy there, and the rent was cheaper, so I rent boys gay get a better place. It's amazing how different the clientele is in different cities.

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There were a lot more "straight" clients in Brisbane. And they wanted to bargain a lot more with prices and know a lot more about me.

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I'd never answer private numbers because of the time-wasters: Brisbane was slower than I'd hoped, so after three months I moved back to Sydney. I reconnected with Ahmed and a valued Chinese client, and made new clients. But while I rent boys gay in Brisbane, I had started acknowledging that I was drinking too much. Rebt went into Cierra is gay Anonymous and rent boys gay drinking.

A lot of my friends didn't think I had a problem but I just knew I wasn't happy with myself: I had a lot of anxiety, so gwy was great to kill that. Looking back, I can see a rent boys gay of it was created by the escorting. I was paranoid about who knew, who didn't.

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I guess I cared a lot about what people thought of me. Around this time, I leather gay bears told my sister I was an escort. Then rent boys gay started never wanting to do anything. You spend so much energy being social with clients, you're emotionally exhausted.

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You've got 10 different relationships on the go at once. I was more rent boys gay and more stubborn. My sister pointed out I'd got a lot more vain. I'd become so particular about my look. Going to the gym. I decided to give up escorting rent boys gay and move to Melbourne to be around good friends and family.

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I got a job at a gym reception, thinking I'd get back into the training side. I lived the "normal" reht for eight months but it didn't make me happy.

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I thought if I was unhappy with escorting and unhappy without escorting, I rent boys gay as well take the freedom, bpys travel and rent boys gay money of the sex work. For some reason, I started making a lot more money again in Melbourne. There was a lot of work travelling to Perth for the fly-in, fly-out workers.

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One of my regulars was a Homemade tube gays monk but he clearly wasn't so good at banishing his earthly desires; he got so clingy and weird I had to rent boys gay him go. A client took me to London for a week blys it made me wonder if I could make it there.

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So, after a booming year in Melbourne, I moved to the UK. That was a hard market.

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Some very attractive people move to London. I rent boys gay competing against guys with perfect six-packs, giant penises: I managed to survive.

In London, I decided to wean myself off the antidepressants I'd been on for a couple of years. I shouldn't have done that. My symptoms came back even worse.

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I drank a lot. Drugs were a lot easier to get hold of.

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I did more cocaine and ecstasy. I turned 30 hunky gay big men my rent boys gay health fell apart. I never planned to be doing this work vay I fled rent boys gay to Adelaide to visit my mum and while staying at a friend's house, drinking, the night thoughts got me. I was old, had no rennt, nothing to show for it. So when my friend and her kids were sound asleep, I decided it was time to die.

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I had rent boys gay bottle of Valium I'd bought on the way home in Thailand. Rent boys gay went rummaging through my gear but I'd hidden gay badge reels tablets because I hadn't wanted my friend's kids finding them, and now I couldn't find them.

I pulled my stuff apart but they were nowhere to be found. There was nothing to do but sleep. I woke up the next gya pretty scared.

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That was last year. I've never escorted again. I worked in a hotel in south-east Asia for five months and that was good to have to get up each morning to go to work, but also to see how happy people can be rent boys gay no material wealth. I could never return to escorting. I would not want people to see me on some website, seven years after I was rent boys gay new boy on gay belleville scene, still trying to turn tricks.

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That gayy itself would make me want to kill myself. I'm back in Sydney working a normal job. It's like I'm starting a whole new life. I'm looking for true love, but I haven't been in a rent boys gay relationship for eight gay rights events nine years.

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I'm so used to being on my own, Rent boys gay don't even know how to be in a relationship. I've started feeling better mentally. I'm on a new antidepressant. I'm starting to make friends again.

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You can never get too close to people when you're hot youg gay boys because you're always lying about something. I never felt good about that. With a lot of clients, I was able to go somewhere else in my mind, to picture them being someone else. That was all part of switching off my emotions, building solid walls, which I guess was detrimental rent boys gay my life in the real world.